Are Children Really an Alien Species? I took a couple of courses from a professor from Oregon, whose name, I am sorry, I do not remember. He described children as little alien energy suckers. His theory was that they reach out to feed on adult energy like deep sea giant squid with long tentacles, drive hooks into your flesh, and then settle down to suck out your emotional energy. This idea was always good for a laugh, until you looked at it seriously. Then it began to, couriously, make sense. You do have to learn to take a step backwards mentally, and look at your children with new eyes. Try it. You may find it works wonders for you. If they aren't aliens, then just one child is capable of wearing you out then feeding on your still quivering energy-drained body. •Children do this with their words, emotions, and actions. •Never think that your child is not a skilled carnivore. They can play your emotions by using their emotions like a skilled musician fingering the strings of a harp!. And they also use body actions! Think of the emotions that are generated in most adults by children with tears, a cry, or even the silent movement of a quivering lower lip ! They learned these abilities by practicing every day since birth with the determination of a future professional pickpocket! Guess who was the target? If you can identify with a sense of being drained of energy, what do you do about it? You must catch up. You must practice every day until you learn how to resist these tentacles. I have read Barbara Coloroso's book, and viewed her video tapes several times, so I am sure that this next part owes at least some debt to her. In a normal situation, you, a normal parent, are bumbling along doing your thing working for a living, trying to keep up with the house, car payments, credit card payments, clothes, and meals, and attempting to do your best as a parent. You notice in passing that your own private little alien (a.k.a. as "Jason", or “Suzie”) has left his room a mess. So you plan ahead for his arrival home from school. Jason comes tumbling in from the bus stop, pausing only to re-fuel in the kitchen, where you catch him topping off the gas tank, and you say, "Jason, you can go out to play when you have straightened up your room. We will stipulate for purposes of this illustration that you have already properly taught Jason how to "straighten up his room" using techniques explored in another chapter. •Jason does not want to straighten up his room, he wants to play, and wants you to let him off the hook, so he slaps a energy sucking tentacle (an EST, variety #1) on you. No.1 EST's are characterized by "begging". This is how you recognize them: begging to be let out of some required activity (chore): mowing the lawn, washing the car, set the table, take out the trash, straightening your room, etc. You will also have a Heavy Clue that this is an EST #1because your crafty kid knows to use this simplistic tool only when you are most psychologically vulnerable: in public at the supermarket, at a PTA function, at a neighborhood event, when your parents are visiting for the holidays, and especailly when you are already exhausted and planning for bed about eight. That is the very time you must be tough, or join General Custer! If you give in, you are really saying to your child that he is incompetent, unskilled enough to straighten his room alone, and mentally incapable of doing the task. By allowing him off the hook, you are killing his character development. Children constantly "test" parents - do you really mean it? Don't Fail the Test ! Say, no matter how many times you are asked, and in a calm voice, you say, "You may go out to play when you have straightened your room." This cuts off the #1 Energy Sucking Tentacle at the base. Repeat: This cuts off the #1 Energy Sucking Tentacle, leaving it twisting and wriggling on ther floor. And, a big "and", Jason's belief that he is a competent, skilled person, with the necessary mental capacity to straighten his room alone will be reinforced. He will grow an itsy-bitsy increment in self-discipline. Your parents will think: "What a hard-ass!" And they will actually probably like it. Your neighbors, the PTA, the lady at the checkout counter don't care one way or another, but will be impressed that you remain cool under fire. You can go one step farther: Teach your kids about the tentacles. Teach them the labels. Identify the tentacles by name when they slap them on you. It really "frosts" them, and after a few years, they will stop trying to use them on you, - - - maybe.
(c) Copyright 2006: George Wallace recently published a book on religion which lashes out at nearly all of the comfortable ideas about God, the trappings of organized religion, and the priesthood. His pithy comments and suggestions for a return to a God-centered personal religion will interest everyone. This article may be freely reprinted so long as all copyright attributions, and the full content of this resource box are included. www.OhGodIsThatYou.com
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