Are Children Really an Alien Species? P.S. If you have not already read "Alien Part 1", and "Alien Part 2", please do so now so this part 3 will make sense to you. Thanks. Energy Sucking Tentacle #3 is a.k.a. as the "You Can't Make Me - - Lower Lip Extender Platform Model A2-7F -Guaranteed to Turn Your Parent into a Dry, Lifeless Husk" pout. It is important to allow your child's lower lip to reach full extention as impirical evidence indicates that the muscles that push the lip outward also trigger an auditory switch and cut off all hearing until the push is complete. There are several things you can do: •Quickly get a ruler and measure just how far out the lip has gone this time, and enter it on the refrigerator door chart for lip extensions. •Check the chart: it might be a record pout: If it is: call your spouse to the kitchen, "Bob, we've got a record here! It's the best pout, ever !" •Calmly repeat the message, say "You may go out to play when you have straightened your room." This gives the little alien several choices: Since you are not responding properly today: • he may go straighten his room and go out to play. • try to make the lip go out farther so his dad can also see the record. Maybe it will work on him.* *This is why parents must coordinate their reactions. Other possibilities: •Shout, (possibly obscenities that would make a steveador blush - it depends on what new and virulent profanities you've been teaching lately) and run to his room and slam the door. PS: a kid has to hear a new word at least 7 times before he'll try to add it to his spoken vocabulary, - and that's after he's practiced it quietly several times alone. When he comes out, wait, and starvation will eventually drive him out, or his bladder, and you immedisately say, "You may go out to play when you have straightened your room." •An Einstein of aliens will try one last-ditch effort- mimicing you. Watch for it ! This is designed to drive you completely bonkers, lose your temper and He Wins ! It also means he is scraping the bottom of the barrel for tactics and you have almost won this match. Do not become the victim of your victory! Don't lose the game ! It will take you six months of hard labor to get back to where you are right now! Don't offer to re-teach (demonstrating how to straighten his room), he hasn't forgotten, just worn you out ! He can do it alone, or you wouldn't have asked him to do it in the first place..... •Calmly repeat the message, say "You may go out to play when you have straightened your room." With constant vigilance and patience and practice, in six months, you can irradicate the aliens in your home - and your kids can live there again. The only real question is: Are you going to go to work on this problem now? Or, do you plan to wait until the aliens are nearly grown?
(c) Copyright 2006: George Wallace brings 28 years in the classroom to bear on this subject. He recently published a book on religion which lashes out at nearly all of the comfortable ideas about God, organized religion, and the priesthood. His pithy suggestions for a return to a God-centered religion will interest everyone. This article may be freely reprinted so long as all copyright attributions, and the full content of this resource box are included. www.OhGodIsThatYou.com
Article Source: http://www.writerspenarticledirectory.com
Please Rate this Article
5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5
Not yet Rated
Powered by Article Dashboard
